Get a load of this asshole.

Get a load of this asshole.

Dan Shewan is a writer and humorist based in New York City. He doesn’t live in New York City, but you have to say you're based in New York even if you aren't if you want to make it as a writer.

Originally from the U.K., Dan divides his time between London and New York. He can maintain such a glamorous international lifestyle because all writers are paid obscene amounts of money for doing very little actual work and never have to worry about frivolous things like how to pay for Business Class transatlantic flights and routine medical procedures.

Dan’s work has appeared in a number of renowned publications in print and online, including McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The GuardianThe Independent, Pacific Standard, The Rumpus, and The Billfold, to name a few. His work has also appeared in a number of very boring magazines and websites under many different names, mainly because most “thought leaders” can’t write their own fucking articles and because some gigs are inherently dirty and shameful.

Since you asked, Dan is currently available for freelance assignments. He's kind of an asshole, but he can write pretty well. If this is an acceptable compromise to you as an editor or publishing professional, select samples of his previously published work can be found here.

Follow Dan on Twitter if you’re into short, mediocre jokes, gratuitous profanity, and juvenile arguments about who would win in a fight between Godzilla and Cthulhu and other pointless bullshit that might momentarily distract you from the crushing existential inevitability of your own death. 

Whatever you do, don’t contact him asking if he wants to review your shitty app. He doesn’t, and he will make fun of you.